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Feb. 4th, 2005 @ 11:26 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: pessimisticpessimistic
Current Music: sound of the clock ticking
As I sit here with my glass of wine i wonder who i am. why is it that i see myself usually full of life and energy and love for everyone. giving everyone a chance it doens't matter who. I love to much, I cry to much. I am me too much. what to do? Today for no reason I sat and cried. I cried because of my life. I have everything that I could ever really ask for, but i cry for me. I would rather bury my face into a good book that live my life. Maybe that is why I read the way I do. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful baby boy or toddler whatever you want to call him.....he is still my baby and will always be. a home to live in a great car......a job where people care about me. a school to go to(even though they piss me off). why do I not like myself. Last night i almost thought about doing the anorexic thing. not for anyone else but for me. I sat for about two hours contemplating.........I know I know........completely stupid. But that thought is always there........but would i look better if i did........lord knows i am not fat........i am just not where i want to be. what is one to do?

I hope no one thinks i am stupid..........cause i am. I sat here and cried tonight because the "crocidile hunters' dog Suie, died. It was so sad it fit into me so well.

I need a friend.....spend some time for myself......i have beeen in this stupid town for 3 years and i was good friends with this girl Lindsey. She was extremely nice and we did things together.....until...........she turned into a super psychotic stalker. It would be nice to be around my friends again. Sorry if i am depressing anyone......i will go now.

"Wilt as thou love"
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Feb. 4th, 2005 @ 11:21 pm (no subject)

You Belong in 1961


If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

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Feb. 3rd, 2005 @ 10:26 pm life
Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: When I see you .....Chris Botti...Night Sessions
have you ever got that "I feel like I have done something wrong' feeling. But you know that you hven't done anything wrong....that just ins't a good feeling. Tonight when i was driving home from the gym. I was on the road that i got into a really bad car acciden't on (not my fault). Talking to my husband on the phone. There was a car coming towards me in the other lane. He pulled onto the grass and turned around behing me like he was following me and then turned his lights on........I was being pulled over? I said to my husband......great why am i being pulled over i was doing about 57 in a 55 so that wasn't it......I just didnt understand. I pulled over onto the grass because it is a small two laned road. The cop roared past me and my heart lost a couple of beats. I was elated that the cop past me. But the question is why do i feel like i have done something wrong. maybe i shouldn't be going to the gym when I am sick...i ahve gone the last three days (aplause for me) but for the past three days i have felt like crap....I keep telling my self i am not going to get sick....maybe i should just give in to it. Or NOT!!! I hate being sick it seems like i am sick all the time and if i am not sick somethngs else goes wrong with me like i rupture discs in my back.....stupid me!!!

Anyways my son got a new big boy bed and he loves it. He is two years old and has only got out of his bed after we have laid him down twice. He has had his bed for well since sunday.......its now thursday so about 5 nights.......This mom is sooo proud of her son. he is growing up so fast. Tonight he asked me for his Aunt Jenny. Just asked for her like it was nothing......first time he has ever done it. he picks up new words every day. he talked to his aunt Susie the oher day and said her name and his Aunt Keleigh name for the first time too.

I am not proud or anything am I???

wouldn't you just love for your boss to call in to work and tell the supervisor for the night that you are not coming in that you are helping him do something, and when you get to his house to help him move, he tell you he just wanted someone to party with him at Mardi Gras so you got the night off to go party. Well if you ever wonder what that is like ask my husband he could tell you. It happened to him tonight. So he got to go out to the parades and party downtown. And I am stuck at home writing to all you wonderful people. Well I think I am going to go now I have a 9 o'clock class in the morning.....I hate science!!!!

Love as thou wilt
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Gone in 60
Jan. 30th, 2005 @ 11:07 pm New Book
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: heater
Laurell K Hamilton has offical finished her last faery book.......yeah, what more can one say when you are so excited your feet aren't even touching the ground anymore......!

ohkay well maybe I am not that excited because when it offically comes out and is at the book store, I am going to go and read a chapter at a time.....

Can't buy it.

It will be right around midterms and there is more important things to do than read a fantasy/science fiction novel(that I want to read super bad) like study my history and geography and my other history and my biology and my oh yea public speaking......!!!

when will it all end........save me I'm drownding!!! bubble bub..ble bub..........ble....bub.....ble........bu.........................

I finished painting Scotts room tonight. It is a ceralean blue........very very bright....but a good bright.

he is sleeping in our room again tonight.....still sick........I am still not sick.......see if I can say that tomorrow. Hopefully I can....

Anyways.........sisser you didn't call me like you said you would....don't worry i still love you........hope you made it home safetly

luv all
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Jan. 29th, 2005 @ 06:10 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: blahblah
Discover your Zodiac Personality
Discover your Zodiac Personality @ Quiz Me

Me? Self centered???

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wanna be me
Jan. 29th, 2005 @ 12:00 pm everything
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Scooby Dooby Do
why today is a day that I do not want to do anything. My husband had the flu this week and is finally getting over it. He was going to paint my sons room and when he opened to paint last night he didn't know if he wanted to paint his room in that colour. The colour is called ceralean blue. It is a very pretty colour, but is is a very vibriant colour also. So Scotts room is tore to pieces right now. The bed is in the very center of the room with everything in it. We have Scotts new bed, but the it is still in the boxes. Last night we put the new mattress in our room and he slept on the until 5am when he woke up crying.....i went over to see what was wrong and it was like picking up something that had been in the oven cooked at 400degrees. He was burning up and wimpering. Very Lethargic!! I gave Scott to Gregg to hold while I went and got some motrin. He tossed and turned in our bed for the next three hours wimpering the whole time. It is sooo sad, because a two year old doesn't understand being sick. We have flannel sheets on our bed and he would cry and say "hot momma hot". I laid him on my chest and got a cotton sheet and laid it on him. He slept like that for a while then would roll over and cry hot again. What do you do?

Right now he is pumped full of medicine and sitting next to me watching Scooby Do. He just looked at the Icon and said 'dat cott'. oh how much can you love one person!!!

boomerang is one of the best carttoon networks!!

Anyways it is Saturday and I should be doing homework, but right now I could really hurt my sisser Susie. She got me Jacqueline Carey's Banewreaker for my b-day and it arrived yesterday. I read some last night then my husband made me put it down so we could watch our movie "the Forgotten". Excellent movie I highly recommend it, only if your in the mood to jump out of your seat. Well we watched the movie and went to bed. Now I want to pick the book back up and keep reading it. ( Yum cookies are good!) I love Careys 'Kushiels" series so i know I will like this book also. Carey and Laurell K. Hamilton inspire me to write. One day I will sit down and start my book. It will be so full of the unkown and forgotton. I am soo excited to write! I just don't have anytime do so yet, not with going to school anyway. Well I need to go see if I can get my son down for a nap......
as my sisser always puts and Carey writes

"Love as thou wilt"
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Oh No
Jan. 20th, 2005 @ 10:39 pm ME!!!

You Have A Type A- Personality


You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

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Jan. 20th, 2005 @ 10:06 pm (no subject)
Hello my fellow fiends! Yes Fiends.....I have decided how the love(sex)scenes are going to go in my book......just do not know what the book or anything about it is going to be........now isn't that a shame. I have decided the man in the book is going to be a tall man that starts out very puny I think! or maybe not. I really just don't know yet.

anyways Gregg and I have decided to go to the Military Mardi Gras Ball, and i am going to wear the a bridesmaid dress that I am suppose to be wearing for a wedding in May.......pray that i do not get it dirty or messed up.....that would be very very bad. .....djfjmkrg et T T AMFL KMSOKFJ 3OKDLSML sjfgajkfogog lkc

wow that was fun let me try it againdkfj aidujaidknjklafdn vboai wej t90QJKOPFKDN yes fun again.

Well well well..........i needed a good laugh this is a pretty good movie.....

I have a class at my university and it sucks sooooo bad...... my teacher seems like she knows the stuff very well but she speaks monotoned and very breathy.....yucky.

anyways luv ya bubye
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wanna be me
Jan. 20th, 2005 @ 09:56 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Around the world in 80 days(The Movie)

A is for Arty
N is for Nutty
N is for Nervy
A is for Athletic
L is for Lovesick
I is for Innocent
S is for Spontaneous
A is for Ambitious

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Jan. 12th, 2005 @ 10:35 pm YIKES
Current Mood: numbfreaked
Current Music: the wind blowing thru the trees (open window)
dios mio................what am i gonna do?????

It has just occured to me that my whole life for the next 4 months is going to be the most scatter brained 4 months of my whole life......!!!!

I just started back to school and i have to write around 6 papers make 6 speaches and learn where all the countries in the world are! Also while all that is taking place i have to be my best friends matron of honor at her wedding may 7 that is only 3 days after my finals by the way......and her first shower is sat april 16 the next one is on the next sat (23) the next thing is the bachellorett party the next weekend (april 23) and her wedding is the next weekend on may 7. This is all the last 4 or 3 weekends before my finals oh and that includes 5 classes....Yikes!!

ohkay annalisa stay calm hopefully your friend will only get married once.....(you hear me Keleigh only once because you are going to be the happiest most charming wifie) and you have to be there for her. calm breathe in and calm breathe out!!.........not working here!!

maybe my husband can help he just got home

luv yall
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